Going through our archives, we came across this great post by Dr. AnnMaria De Mars from September 18, 2015 “I So Suck at that Don’t Worry Be Happy Thing” that we wanted to share in case you missed it the first time around.
I can’t think of many things in my life that I would change. I certainly wouldn’t want to be famous. I look at how every thing Ronda does or says gets blown out of proportion, for good or bad, how everyone is all up in her business all of the time, and I know I would never want that.
Even if what I did this afternoon wasn’t all that exciting – I worked on a grant proposal while waiting for my granddaughters to finish dance class – I still don’t want pictures of me doing it showing up on the Internet.
I have a Ph.D. that I enjoyed getting 25 years ago and what I learned I put to use to this day. Education – check.
I really love the work I do. If I could pick any job in the world, I would pick CEO of a video game company. That doesn’t mean every second of what I do is exactly what I want – I would rather write software all day than grants – but hey, no one has everything how they want all of the time.
Career – check.
I’ve been married for 18 years to one of the calmest people on the planet (a requirement to live with me), who is also brilliant and a great father and grandfather. I have four wonderful children who I love very much and the world’s most amazing grandchildren.
Family – check.
At 57, I can still make the same weight division in which I won the world championships 31 years ago. I had my knee replaced, so I can hike in the mountains for fun and teach judo every Friday.
Health – check.
My bills are paid. I don’t live in a 30-room mansion and drive a Lamborghini. I live in a townhouse by the beach in Santa Monica and drive a Prius, but I like where I live and I live 10 blocks from the office so I don’t even really need a car. Recently, Ronda gave me her Range Rover so I had a car that I could drive a bunch of kids from Gompers Judo to events. I do not want what I have not got.
Money – check.
I have some really good friends, and although now that Ronda is doing great and the business is doing good, more and more new “friends” are appearing, I’m pretty adept at telling the former from the latter. I’d like to see my friends more, but when I think about them, I feel blessed with the number of people in this world I can count on.
Friendship – check.
So … why every day am I worried about stupid stuff? I’m worried that my kids will make bad decisions, that we won’t sell enough games to increase our part-time staff members to full-time, that the newest hire won’t work out, that I didn’t spend enough time talking to the stranger on the street telling me how reading Ronda and Maria’s book changed his life …
I don’t just borrow trouble from tomorrow, because today is pretty good and tomorrow looks pretty good, too. I borrow it from six months from now.
If you’re the same way, I’m sorry that I cannot really help by telling you why that is. I THINK in my case it is because it has worked out for me. Early in life, I did not have a whole lot to fall back on so I always had a Plan B and a Plan C and a Plan D and a Plan E and was constantly evaluating everything. However, while worrying all of the time might be responsible for much of the success that I have had in life, now that I don’t really need that any more, I can’t shake the habit.
If you’re in the same boat, I can tell you that two things help me:
1. Pray. I’m not one for running out and converting people. I think your religion is between you and God, but for the record, I’m Catholic and praying helps me a lot. It’s the thing you can do when there’s nothing else you can do.
2. Count your blessings. I try to remember this because it helps immensely. Whenever I get stressed about things, my wonderful friend and mentor, Bruce Toups, calls me on it and says, “And look how far you have come.”
There is a third thing that is Ronda’s idea and involves water buffaloes but I am not so sure I agree with that one.
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