Whether or not you backed us on Kickstarter, you’d probably find our Family Textbook hilarious. It’s a book of, you guessed it, our family group text. If you didn’t back us on Kickstarter for $50 or more, you won’t be getting one, but you can still read about what you’re missing . If you did back us, your book should be done in about a month.
We will definitely not be posting any more examples here because our Kickstarter post used up the only PG-rated text we had. In fact, when I was searching my computer for texts, I just searched on the word “fuck” and I came up with such an unmanageable number that I had to change my search terms to “fuck!” and “monkey”.
Ronda had made so many politically incorrect and profane (but very funny) comments, that I suggested we replace her name with a fictitious sister named Taniesha, who would get all of the blame, either that, or everywhere Ronda had texted anything replace it with “monkey, monkey, monkey” because I thought that was more amusing than “redacted”.
Howler monkey from Aztech Games
I thought it would be amusing to play a game here and see how many people can guess correctly out of me, Ronda, Jenn, Maria, Julia and Dennis who said what. Put your answers below and the person with the most correct answers will get an autographed Ronda poster and an autographed 7 Generation Games poster – which happen to be 2 random things in my closet. If we get a lot of correct answers, I’ll have Cal pull a name out of a hat.
Put your answers in the comments below.
Who said it
Obviously, all of these are taken out of context. Some of these conversations were about raising a seed round while others were about … well, you’ll have to get the book.
- Eggplant is nasty and a liar because no egg is involved.
- I would think it would involve at least a plane, an alarm clock and whatever the female equivalent of an eggplant is
- Most people’s family mass texts consist of things like are you going to X random family member’s birthday party … they aren’t usually about jet lagged sex organs.
- It’s a nice prison, it has Starbucks.
- I have actually been in jail, but not lately.
- I’m pretty sure I have never expressed my true feelings about ducks in his presence.
- … my uterus thought I went into the future
- … teach him to fight? He’s an EMBRYO for God’s sake!
- The guy has a crab on his head.
- Never make any assumptions about someone you meet on the internet
- Wait, did you just reply angrily to yourself?
- I knew I birthed humanity’s savior
- “I know where you buried the body.” Then it’s a relief when it’s not about the person they murdered.
- Is she armbarring the dog ?
- It helps me make money, what does it do for you?
Oooww I want that poster soo bad,I love Ronda so bad, I even love YOU so bad, lol pleease!
Here we go
1- Jenn
2- AnnMaria
3- Maria
4- Julia
5- Dennis
6- Maria
7- Jenn
8- AnnMaria
9- Ronda
10-Dennis
11- Julia
12- AnnMaria
13- Ronda
14- Jenn
15- Ronda
Eggplant is nasty and a liar because no egg is involved. — Julia
I would think it would involve at least a plane, an alarm clock and whatever the female equivalent of an eggplant is – Ronda
Most people’s family mass texts consist of things like are you going to X random family member’s birthday party … they aren’t usually about jet lagged sex organs. — Definiitely Ronda
It’s a nice prison, it has Starbucks.- Jenn
I have actually been in jail, but not lately. – I think Maria is the wild card here
I’m pretty sure I have never expressed my true feelings about ducks in his presence – Dennis.
… my uterus thought I went into the future – Maria, she’s the one with the kids, right?
… teach him to fight? He’s an EMBRYO for God’s sake! – Jenn
The guy has a crab on his head. – Julia, definitely Julia
Never make any assumptions about someone you meet on the internet – AnnMaria
Wait, did you just reply angrily to yourself? – Ronda
I knew I birthed humanity’s savior – Of course it’s AnnMaria
“I know where you buried the body.” Then it’s a relief when it’s not about the person they murdered. – Ronda
Is she armbarring the dog ? – Ronda
It helps me make money, what does it do for you? – AnnMaria
This is great. Hope I get this.
1. Julia
2. Dennis
3. Maria
4. AnnMaria
5. AnnMaria
6. Ronda
7. Jenn
8. Maria
9. Dennis
10. Jenn
11. Maria
12. AnnMaria
13. Ronda
14. Julia
15. AnnMaria
1. Julia
2. Jenn
3. Maria
4. Ann Maria
5. Dennis
6. Ronda
7. Ann Maria
8. Jenn
9. Ronda
10. Jenn
11. Julia
12. Ann Maria
13. Dennis
14. Maria
15. Ronda
Ronda’s book was an inspiration not just for me, but for my daughters and my wife who cumulatively are her biggest fan. Learning about your family’s struggles and how closely you stuck together through them was a brilliant exclamation of how a family should be. We have a wall dedicated to her five posters in our home. Hopefully I got lucky and can add an autographed poster to that wall.
Dr. AnnMaria- 5, 7, 12, 15
Ronda- 4, 13
Jenn- 3, 10
Maria- 6, 8, 11
Julia- 1, 14
Dennis- 2 , 9
1. Ronda
2. AnnMaria
3. Maria.
4. AnnMaria because she likes coffee
5. Jennifer because I think she has a secret past
6. Dennis one of these must be Dennis
7. Julia
8. Ronda
9. Dennis
10. Ronda
11. Ronda
12. Must be AnnMaria talking about Ronda
13. Maria
14. AnnMaria
15. Dennis
Pick me!
Ahh, so tough! Here goes:
1. Jenn
2. Ronda
3. Maria
4. Dennis
5. Annmaria
6. Ronda
7. Jenn
8. Maria
9. Julia
10. Annmaria
11. Dennis
12. Jenn. I’m torn between Jenn and Maria, I’ll go with Jenn.
13. Ronda
14. Ronda
15. Julia
16. Jenn
I like your email address. My department actually had a Lisa computer back in the day.
Jen
1. Jenn
2. Ronda
3. Maria
4. Dennis
5. Annmaria
6. Maria
7. Maria
8. Ronda
9. Julia
10. Annmaria
11. Dennis
12. Maria
13. Ronda
14. Ronda
15. Julia
16. Jenn
Greetings from Colombia
1- Julia
2- Ronda
3- Ronda
4- Maria
5- Maria
6- Denis
7- Maria
8- Ronda
9- Julia
10- Jenn
11- Ronda
12- Maria
13- Ronda
14- Ronda
15- Maria